Welcome to Modern Anarchy, the podcast featuring real conversations with conscious objectors to the status quo. I'm your host, Nicole. Hello, hello, dear listener. This is episode 100, and I am so, so thankful for all of you that have been tuning in each week and have been growing together with me on this podcast, on this journey.
And I was thinking about episode 100. That's a milestone. I have Dear Fat Cat with me.
Hi, baby. That is a milestone. That is an achievement to have made that many episodes. And for all of the listeners that have been with me since day one, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for tuning in and for supporting me and for growing together with me. And I was really thinking about the last episode that I had recorded back with Brandon, episode 98. And I had talked about in that episode the large prevalence of female orgasm disorder, right? This is working within the framework of the DSM for mental health here. And just knowing that upwards of 42 % of women have struggled with this disorder, I just feel called, y'all, to address this, to talk about this. And we know that it is much higher than 42 % because a lot of people, because of the shame and the taboo around sexuality, don't feel comfortable talking about this with the doctor.
Don't feel comfortable talking about this with their therapist. So I just want to hold space for all of those people out there. And to honor that you're not alone, the reality is this life pulls us away from the body. When I am on my phone scrolling through Instagram, when I am watching Netflix, when I am even in conversation with other people, I am pulled away from my body.
The work that I do as a therapist, I am in my head listening, processing away from the body. And the body is so crucial for feeling pleasure, y'all. We come to our bodies and we want to feel pleasure like that. We want to feel all the benefits and the sex and the embodiment that we're having. But we don't just come to a guitar and pick it up and expect to play beautiful melodies.
The reality is that that is a practice. We have to be embodied. We have to spend time tuning in. into our bodies and being present. And I'll be the first to say that I struggle with that.
I fly with school at 100 miles per hour, going, going, going, all up in my cognitive brain. And it is so crucial to come back to the body of myself included, right? And to spend some time there feeling what comes up and honoring the connection of our body. And so I just felt called, you know, there is this practice of pussy breathing, right? That word might bring up a lot for you.
It brings up things for me, right? This is a society of shame and taboo that has told us that it is wrong to be in our bodies, that it is wrong to feel pleasure. And I've put out some masturbation meditations.
And again, shame with that word, shame with the taboo of that. And I wanted to create something that you could do even while you're maybe at work in your 15 minute break. There is no touching here. This is just a breath and embodiment practice that can connect you to pleasure in your body. And also honor the fact that if you are new to meditation, this might feel very uncomfortable as you sit in silence trying to connect to your body. Thoughts may pop up, racing thoughts, do your best to honor those, let those fall away.
And I promise you that if you practice meditation, it will get easier, the mind will quiet. But again, it takes practice. We don't just pick up that guitar and play.
We have to take time to learn the instrument, to practice the instrument, and to have compassion for ourselves when we make little mess ups here and there. But over time, you will notice the expansion of this. And what we know from neuroscience research is that meditation promotes neuroplasticity in our brain. If you've come from trauma and have patterns of neuronal activity that are connected to the body with pain, if you've come from the trauma of society that has taught you that your body is shameful and that your pleasure is shameful, we are gonna write new neuronal connections with meditation. We're gonna work on that neuroplasticity and we're going to relax the body and step into our pleasure. We know that mindfulness can be as effective as SSRIs and these other sorts of medications that we are prescribed.
And it breaks my heart that in this world, a doctor could tell you to take an SSRI for 30 days and we would allow that practice, the space for it to take its effect. But when we do meditation, we get impatient. I've done this once and I don't see the benefits. the reality is, again, just like picking up that guitar, is that it takes time to notice the benefits.
Give this practice 30 days, and if that's even too much, just try it for a week, once a night before you go to bed for a week, and then tell me how you feel. Send me a DM. Let me know. I want to hear from you. And the reality is, you know, this podcast is having a global reach, and I'm not going to be able to sit with every one of you and support you in your journey of healing, but I don't have to, because I know that you can do this for yourself with the right tools. So here is a meditation that I hope will support you in that, and it is something that you can practice, and something that you can build for yourself and for your healing.
And I also want to say that, throughout his cannabis is legal in the state of Illinois, and I will say that being able to take that medicine, it has allowed me to connect deeper to my body and to feel my body. I know that's not the experience for everybody, but it is the experience for me and my personal breathing practices. And it's something that I've also seen in my clinical work in psychedelic assisted psychotherapy is the benefit of these medicines to connect us to our bodies and to clear the mind. And so that is definitely something that I practice and is something that makes me feel connected and to feel slowed down and connected to my body. And I am doing my best to learn how to do that in a sober mind with just the breath. But the reality is that these experiences on the medicine can provide us with a template, an example of what it feels like to be embodied, of what is possible in your body and in your practice.
So that is something that I have used as a tool to know what is possible and to be able to ground back in my own body and feel that. But whether you're doing this work on the medicine or whether you're doing it with just the breath, I just want to invite you to honor that pleasure is possible in your body. Pleasure is possible without even touch. Pleasure is possible through just the breath alone and through quieting the mind. So I'm going to be here with you practicing this as much as you need it, dear listener.
I need it too. I am always flying at 100 miles per hour. And it is so, so crucial if we want to feel pleasure in our bodies to slow down, to be embodied, and to honor all the pleasure that is possible. within you. I hope you enjoy today's meditation and tune in. Hello dear listener, we are going to tune into our bodies for the next 10 minutes allowing ourselves that gift of presence and embodiment. I want to invite you to find a comfortable seat wherever you're at. Once you're there, feeling grounded in your hips, secure into the floor, into your seat, whatever is holding you up.
From there, elongate your spine, really find that length all the way through the back of your neck, the crown of your head, sitting up tall and strong. And then we're going to drop the shoulders away from the ears, feeling grounded, secure, taking a couple of deep breaths here. We're going to breathe in through the nose and exhale, side out.
Full inhale through the nose and exhale, side out. Let's take three more deep breaths. I want to invite you to really sigh that exhale out, let your body release, full inhale and exhale it out.
We're allowing our nervous system to relax, activating that parasympathetic nervous system so our body feels safe and secure. Full inhale and exhale it out. One more deep breath, inhale and exhale it out.
So for the next 10 minutes, we're going to allow everything to fall away. Those thoughts about the past or the future, you can just watch them like clouds, allowing them to pass and dissipate when we don't fight them. Just staying focused with your breath, the sensations in your body. I'll invite you here to set an intention for your practice. Honoring whatever comes to mind for you that you want to dedicate this breathing meditation to.
And if you're having a hard time finding an intention, I'll share with you mine for all of you dear listeners out there. I hope that we can be embodied in our breath, in our presence, in the pleasure that is possible within each of our bodies just from breathing. I hope you feel that today. I hope you feel that grow in your practice with your breath.
And I hope you feel the benefits of that practice each and every day. I'll invite you, maybe you want to bring one hand to your chest and then placing the other hand on your belly. We're going to do some deep belly breathing. So on your inhale, you're going to breathe in through the nose. And as you're inhaling, your belly will expand filling up with air.
You can feel that through your hand. And then on your exhale, gently let the belly release the air, full and controlled exhale out through the mouth. Inhale through the nose. And exhale it out. Inhale. And exhale. Inhale. And exhale. So continuing with this breath as you meditate here, thoughts might start to pop up about the past, the future, shame or judgment around the practice. Again we honor those thoughts or the clouds that they are moving on by.
We let them go. Just gently come back to the practice of your breath. And have compassion for yourself. More you meditate, easier that will get. Being kind to yourself as you're building the muscles.
of this practice. Full inhale and exhale it out. So as we take that inhale, we're filling up our belly with air and our diaphragm is pushing down.
This allows your pelvic floor to expand, relax. And then as you exhale it back out, your pelvic floor contracts, comes back, full inhale, filling your pelvic floor, expand. And then exhale, letting it go. Inhale and exhale it out. If you're having trouble staying connected with the breath, one practice I like to do is to count the breaths. You can count the inhale as one and the exhale out as two. This helps you to stay present, connected. And then if you fall off from the count, that's okay. Just gently come back.
You can start again at one and work your way up. With your inhale, I'll invite you to see the breath coming through your nose, down your body, into your belly, into your pelvic floor, into your pussy here. And as you're taking that full inhale and your pelvic floor is expanding, seeing it like a flower that is blossoming, opening up to its full petals. And then as you exhale it out, seeing that flower contract back, close up. Inhale, filling the flower bloom and expand all of its beauty. And exhale, closing it down.
Continuing with that breath here. And as you're taking these full deep breaths, I also want to invite you with every inhale to feel as if you're pulling in breath through your pussy. Really connect to that sensation as you're feeling the pelvic floor expand. And then as you exhale, release, feeling all the good feelings of your pelvic floor, your body. Inhale, pulling in that air through your pussy. And exhaling it out.
Continuing with that breath. And honoring if even that word pussy brings up thoughts of shame or judgment for you. Letting that go to remember that your body is sacred. Your body is divine. That you deserve to feel pleasure for breath in your body.
You deserve to feel good in your body. And to honor all those feelings that come with just this breath practice. And then we exhale out through the mouth. Really allow yourself to sigh, make an audible breath. Relax. Let go of that tension in the body. Let it fall off of you and leave it behind. Inhale, pulling in that breath through your pussy, your sacred pelvic floor.
and exhaling it out. But you, if you'd like to pause the recording, continuing with this breath, building your own practice here. Dear listener, as we close this time down, during every practice of breath, I invite myself and all of my students to call to mind at least one thing that you're grateful for today.
And if you're having a hard time calling something to mind, that's okay, we honor that. And I want to invite you to be thankful for the fact that you have a body that can breathe, that you have the space to take this practice, and that you have the ability to be present and the pleasure that is within your body. We're going to close down our practice together with three full breaths. Taking that full inhale through the nose, and exhaling it out through the mouth. Full inhale, and exhale, let it go, relax into your body. Breathe.
Last deep breath, inhale through the nose, and exhale it out. Just taking a moment to feel all the benefits of your practice, your embodiment, your connection, your body, and in your heart today. May this embodiment practice grow for you as you practice each day. May it bless you with good feelings of pleasure in your body. And may it bless you with the gift of presence and the power that that is.
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