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Embody Security

Connecting with Pleasure and Expansive Possibilities

After grounding in your body, exploring the impact of your set and setting, and communicating your desires with your partners, it is important to reconnect with what makes the journey all worthwhile. We can often be flooded with a range of complicated emotions as we stretch into this new psychedelic paradigm shift, making it all the more difficult to embody confidence, pleasure, and security. To find balance in your practice of expansive relating, be sure to set aside time to intentionally connect with a future of radical joy. What do you see in this world? How does your body feel living into this dream?

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You are the author of your life story. You get to write a story of empowerment, radical ecstasy, and deeply intimate relationships. Take time to clearly envision a world where you embody the highest form of love and connection that is possible. Set an intention to hold onto as you ride the inevitable waves of discomfort and growth towards this new world. Remember the important value systems rooted in the foundation of your vision. And, be sure to affirm both yourself and your community  as you navigate your expansive journey of liberated love. 

Envision

1. Reconnect

Envisioning a world of radical joy can be exceptionally difficult when we are flooded with a complex range of challenging emotions. It can be helpful to first start with reconnecting to previous experiences of security, pleasure, and love. As you answer the questions below, try to recall the memories as vividly as possible and reconnect with the emotions you experienced in your body. To do so, it can be helpful to write out your responses in full detail in a journal or take time sharing your responses with a lover. 

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  1. What is the most recent pleasurable experience you shared with your partner or community? What was going on? What made it pleasurable?

  2. Can you pull up recent photos, videos (erotic play videos are a fan favorite), messages, or past Relationship Reflection responses to feel reconnected to your partner?

  3. Recall a time where your partner demonstrated that they cared for you. What did they do to demonstrate this? How did it feel to receive this love?

  4. Recall a time where your partner demonstrated they are trust worthy and reliable. What did they do to demonstrate this? How did it feel to know you can trust them?

  5. Recall a time where your partner demonstrated that they considered your needs in their actions while they were away from you. What did they do to demonstrate this? How did this security feel?

  6. Recall a time where your partner demonstrated that they are committed to building a future with you. What did they do to demonstrate this? How does it feel to recall that continued commitment in the here and the now?

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After reflecting on these questions, pause and draw your focus to your body. What sensations do you notice? Where are you noticing these feelings in the body? Do your best to just stay present with these feelings for a moment. Now, take a deep breath and connect even deeper to these feelings in the body, pulling them into your heart. 

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2. Radical Dreams

Imagine a reality of abundance where all of your biggest hopes and dreams of expansive relating and erotic intimacy came true. Create space for yourself to dream without judgement or limitations.

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  1. Take a moment to find a comfortable position and find a space where you can dedicate time to focus. Maybe there are dim lights or soft music you would like to set to create a calm and creative atmosphere.

  2. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, centering yourself and connecting with your body.

  3. Envision your world of expansive relating and pleasure. Follow your intuition and curiosity by letting the imagery unfold naturally.

  4. What do you see? Who is with you? What are you doing? Where are you? Describe the surroundings, the people involved, and the significant details of this vision. 

  5. What do you hear? Are there sounds of laughter, music, ecstasy, or nature? 

  6. What do you feel? Notice the sensations in your body as you envision yourself in this world. Are there feelings of warmth, connection, or excitement?

  7. Are there any scents or tastes present in this environment? What pleasures are you experiencing?

  8. Visualize a moment of deep connection and intimacy with your partners. What does this connection look and feel like? How does it contribute to your pleasure?

  9. Visualize a moment of deep connection and intimacy with your metamours (your partner's partners). What does this connection look and feel like? How does this security contribute to your pleasure?

  10. Imagine yourself surrounded by loved ones who support and celebrate your expansive relating and liberated love. How does it feel to be embraced by this community?

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As you close this envisioning practice, take a moment to again connect with and deepen the sensations in the body. Take a couple of rounds of full deep breaths, knowing in your heart that this world is more than possible. Trust that this world can become your reality. 

Intention

1. Phrase or Mantra

We live in a world that has so deeply disconnected us from our pleasure, especially so depending on your various intersecting identities. There will continue to be waves of discomfort and challenge as you build your dream reality of expansive relating. In psychedelic journeys, it can be helpful to set an intention to hold onto as your paradigms of existence shift. This intention can be a reminder of where you would like to dedicate your focus or set your direction towards. You can think of your intention as a light in the distance guiding you home. While the journey home may be unpredictable and full of challenging twists and turns, your intention can serve as a reminder of where you would like to head towards on your adventure. 

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Take a moment to think of a short phrase that could encapsulate your intention for expansive relating.

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For example:

My intention is to experience the highest form of expansive love, radical community, and erotic pleasure that is possible in a lifetime. My intention is to also support my partners and community in experiencing their unique vision of this dream. 

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Of course, this intention can change over the years. Change is the only constant. Adapt your intention to flow with your evolution. 

2. Values

As we ride the waves of discomfort and growth with our intention in mind, it can be helpful to identify the values rooted in the foundation of your expansive desires. Values serve as guiding principles that reflect what is most important and meaningful to us in life. They represent the qualities, traits, and experiences that we want to cultivate and prioritize in our actions and decisions.

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When we encounter challenges, our values act as anchors that help us stay grounded and resilient, guiding us through difficult times with clarity and determination. Choose to act from your values rather than from fear. 

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Take a moment to identify the values that are important to you.

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For example:

  • Interconnectedness: remembering that I am a part of an expansive community. I am never alone. May I move with grace and intentionality, knowing that my actions will impact the individuals around me. I am held in a deep community of love who will support, challenge, and grow with me. May I trust that I am loved even in moments of doubt. My sense of self is created by the relationships I choose to build in this life. May I also show up for, serve, and give back to my community.

  • Self-Governance: remembering the joy I feel when I am trusted to act in loving consideration of my partners and community and then granting that same expansive trust to others. Even when I am afraid, may I choose to trust my partners and know that they will consider me in their actions. In our individual freedom, we can come together to collaborate for the greater good of our collective community. 

  • Pleasure: remembering that embodying pleasure is a radical act of revolution. May I remember that dismantling the internalization of judgement towards pleasure is going to be uncomfortable . May I remember to not identify myself or attach to these emotions. I can trust that it does get easier to embody pleasure liberation with each little step. There is no final destination. Embodying deeper pleasure is a life-long journey of expansive adventure. Practice and trust that all is coming. 

  • Change: remembering that change is the only constant. With each moment, I am becoming and my relationships are evolving. Rather than holding onto the past or looking to define who I am or what a relationship might be, may I embrace the continual unfolding of my narrative. May I be here in the present moment with all that it is, both the pain and pleasure. 

  • Resilience: remembering that another world is possible. May I remember that building this world will be a long journey of learning, unlearning, and making mistakes. I am not defined by my mistakes but rather by how I respond to them moving forward. May I remember that another world is possible deep within my heart as I face judgement from others who do not understand and as I unpack the internalization of systems of oppression that are so deep within my own psyche. My resilience is found in my expansive community and knowing that I am not alone. 

3. Affirmations

As you practice loving others, also take time to affirm yourself in this journey. Find the affirmations that feel authentic and resonate for you. What would you say to a friend who found themselves in a similar position? 

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For example:

  • "I am worthy of love and I am loved deeply."

  • "I am secure in my relationships and trust my partners."

  • "I am resilient and can embrace both challenges and change."

  • "I trust myself to know."

  • "I am unique. There is no competition. There is no comparison."

  • "I am right here right now, and I can have everything I dream of with liberated love."

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At various points in my personal journey, I have had to repeat these phrases again and again until I actually felt them in my heart. 

May it be so. May you live into your most radical dreams of erotic connection and intimate relationships. May you know the depth of love that is possible in a lifetime. I am surely living into the reality of my wildest dreams and wishing the same for you, Dear Listener. 

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Sending you all my love,

Nicole

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Nicole Thompson

M.A. Clinical Psychology

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